Drama Director T-Shirts

'That script to theatre to film to video scenario... I've short cut it.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Just be yourself."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Golfing Boss

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Hamlet'