Domestic Disaster Diva Gifts

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

Ironing day.

"I had to skip my workout."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Washing Line Walker

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.