Demolition Diva Gifts

A Woman's Touch

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Framed Lady

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.