Domestic Diva Gifts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Mom, do you get any perks with this job?'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"I'm right here. Focused!"

'Nice iron. Your wife will love it. While I wrap it, you might want to go over to sporting goods and pick out a helmet.'

'I wondered when you were going to clean the refrigerator.'

'Crimony Eve, it's the 5th one you've shrunk. How many times do I have to tell you that my figs are dry clean only!'

"Laundry or composting?"

'How many times do I have to tell you... colours with colours, whites with whites!'

Flower Arrangement

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'You know you're having a bad day when you put the dirty clothes to bed and the kids in the hamper.'

We have your sock.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

Working from Home

A woman's work is never done.

"Are you sure the doctor said it takes 14 weeks for your leg to heal?"

"Well, it was nice knowing you."

'I've asked you not to call me here, Arthur...The dust pan is in the cabinet next to the refrigerator...'

"And to think as a child I used to love playing house."

'Alright! We'll get a steam iron.'

'Y'know - you should get yourself a hobby too,luv.'

Vacuuming.

Wouldn't it be simpler just to buy me a clothes dryer?

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Car with groceries and items atop car has bumpersticker: 'My other vehicle is a shopping cart.'

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

This Semester's Report Card

'I said you wash and I'll dry!'

You wish

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"Would you like to borrow my dishwasher?"