Domestic Goddess Gifts

'I've had it with this kitchen!'

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

'Stop picking up after your kids.'

"Will you please stop acting like my mother except for the laundry and food and cleaning and stuff?!!"

War stains

'Talk about tough days.'

'How thoughtful, dear - a new iron to match my set of saucepans...'

Overwhelmed by life's beauty and magic, Alice thought to herself, 'Dear God, perfect ice cubes once again!'

Housewife

'Clothes-dryer Messiah.'

'Not tonight, dear. I stayed home with the kids today, remember?'

'Most wives just ask their husband to lift his feet...!'

Competitive Ironing

"Helpful, him? He'd mow the carpet and vac the lawn!"

'It's new. You spray it on before they go out to play. It's called pre-dirt.'

"I guess I'd like to find inner peace, but I'd settle for finding my car keys or a few lost socks in the dryer."

"When was the last time you cleaned the fridge?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Why, Monica - this looks good enough to eat!'

'That's how I know these eggs are hard boiled!'

Could you please not leave your old skins lying around the house! (colour)

'That mink-lined surprise he promise me - it was an apron.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'I think the 'burn and serve' rolls are done.'

'I would make a nice compote.'

'I did darn your socks, dear. I said 'darn you, socks'.'

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

"Where are dishes?"

Maids

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Super glue hoovering

"Yessirree, kids, your mother is one heck of a gal!"

"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"