Domestic Deity Gifts

Jason and the Aga notes.

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"The dishes are done. You can come out now."

'And he still mixes them up.'

'Maybe your dad can beat up my dad, but my dad can dry dishes better than your dad.'

"It's worth a try! Maybe someone up there knows how to fold a fitted bedsheet!"

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"Okay, I get the message."

"Hurry with those dishes George, I need them for my next dinner party."

"I'm sorry, he's got a pressing engagement this evening."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Is that my best sheepskin?! I told you dry-clean only!"

"Instead of pumping iron, how about cutting grass?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Please, oh Lord, show my children how to put the lids back on things..."

'Come into the sitting room - it's time for me to give you your sixth-monthly review!'

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

In and out trays for ironing.

"So we'll splint chores again this week: I'll do all the work and you can do all the exhausted sighing."

Teen Lucid Moment

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.