Domestic God Gifts

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

'Do you have something a little more masculine in an apron?'

"I work all day and come home to find this? A clean house!?"

"My perfect guy would binge-watch chick flicks with me...Then drag me into the bedroom, throw me on the bed...and go and do the dishes, ironing and vacuuming while I took a nap."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Balancing work and family

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I had to skip my workout."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Ironing day.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"