Domestic Gods Gifts

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Balancing work and family

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."