Domestic Gods Gifts

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Balancing work and family

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"I had to skip my workout."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Ironing day.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.