Domestic God Pillows

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

'Do you have something a little more masculine in an apron?'

"I work all day and come home to find this? A clean house!?"

"My perfect guy would binge-watch chick flicks with me...Then drag me into the bedroom, throw me on the bed...and go and do the dishes, ironing and vacuuming while I took a nap."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Balancing work and family

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Ironing day.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'