Domestic Legend Pillows

"Now that I've moved my files down here to the basement, we'll be able to spend a lot more time together."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Knights of the bedside table.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Ted Hughes

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Rows the Sheep.

Jason and the Aga notes.

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

"Sloth is a sin."

'Almost done.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

Man of steel wool.