Literary Legend Pillows

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."

'Here. Perhaps Goldie can keep you company while you think up ideas for your novel, Mr. Melville.'

"I love to curl up with a good book and watch television."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

A Guide to Mustaches

Moai reading a book

"Be or be not. There is no question."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The Elliot Ness monster.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Myths and legends...

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Knights of the bedside table.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Jack London

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

Pandora's Change Purse...

Scotsman in the bath...

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."