Domestic Goddess Enthusiast Pillows

'On the plus side she'll be able to help you with the chores.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Balancing work and family

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

Washing Line Walker

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'