Domestic Demi-god Pillows

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Balancing work and family

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.