Family Diva Gifts

'Some days I curse that fertility treatment.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Balancing work and family

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"I had to skip my workout."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Ironing day.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

William Shakespeare

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"