Fashion Diva Gifts

Lady drinking Champagne.

"That's a plumage don't."

These shades are awesome. They're not for you. Sunglass King. But they'd look great on me. True. It's not that. It's, well … We're trying to preserve our brand image. We only sell those to qualified individuals. People with the right look. Hold on. Are you saying I'm too ugly to buy your stupid sunglasses? Put bluntly. How dare you, pal. Why I oughta … Hold on. Okay. I'll sell you the glasses. But on one condition. Some days the humiliation just piles on. Who's the cutie in the shades?

Catch of the day

Good Hair Day

'£200, your husband will kill you! No way, I'll wrap it in brown paper and tell him I bought it in a jumble sale.'

Katie Price

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Barbara Cartland

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

I could have danced all night!

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Little Princess.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Ladies

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Framed Lady

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Kensington Fluffies

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

Ballet dancer.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Mum, Mum, the teacher has included some especially tricky choreography just for me in the school musical..."

Hair: Full Cut / Beer: Half Cut

Girl's hair comes unfastened as a dance is about to begin

How would Madam like to pay?

Bow

Artist chained to his drawing.