Holiday Diva Gifts

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"I had to skip my workout."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Framed Lady

Ironing day.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"