Domestic Chaos Explorer Gifts

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Is that lunch or one of my shirts you're burning?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I'm running a loose ship."

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

Working from home.

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

"Lift your stems."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

The Black Hole of Plans

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'This is our home's communications center.'

'Daddy, the toaster has stopped working again.'

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'

We never go out anymore.

A "balanced diet" means balancing what's left to cook with what's clean enough to cook it in.