Domestic Chaos Fan Gifts

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

"Close the door woman! There's a weasel outbreak!"

Computer Room.

Family with pets.

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I'm running a loose ship."

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

Cat attacks dog reading on a bench.

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Cut that out! Every time you jump in our pool, we have to refill it!'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'Try rebooting.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

'This is our home's communications center.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"

'Daddy, the toaster has stopped working again.'

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."