Domestic Chaos Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mind the lamp, George!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”