Domestic Chaos Lover Gifts

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"A chewed slipper? I love it. No, really."

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Found her. Keeping her.'

Cat chess

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Three children struggling to stay in the saddle.

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

'Surprise!'

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III