Home Chaos Explorer Gifts

"Please don't make me work from home. I have a stay-at-home husband and two pre-schoolers."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Working from home.

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I'm running a loose ship."

The Black Hole of Plans

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Chaos Hieronymus Bosch style

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

'Ugh! Look at the state of our home office.'

"We hadn't planned for this sort of traffic."

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

"It's Jung out there, son"

'I see it as an adventure Joe...and the best adventures are the ones that challenge you...Ah...and this would explain your collection of hazmat suits.'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

Staycation holidays...

A "balanced diet" means balancing what's left to cook with what's clean enough to cook it in.

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"