Home Chaos Master Gifts

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

Meet my three pets

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Working from home.

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"I'm running a loose ship."

How men shop for towels.

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

'This is our home's communications center.'

'Ugh! Look at the state of our home office.'

"We hadn't planned for this sort of traffic."

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

"Gone insane. Your dinner's in a wheelbarrow on the M25."

Kids make a home messy and loud