Domestic Chaos Explorer T-Shirts

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Is that lunch or one of my shirts you're burning?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"I'm running a loose ship."

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

Working from home.

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Lift your stems."

The Black Hole of Plans

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

'This is our home's communications center.'

'Daddy, the toaster has stopped working again.'

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."