Domestic Chaos Enthusiast T-Shirts

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Can I tell you about my day? Or would you rather watch it on the evening news?'

"Gone insane. Your dinner's in a wheelbarrow on the M25."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

The Family Joules: Part 16

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”