Domestic Chaos Aficionado T-Shirts

"Gone beserk your dinner is on the ceiling"

Well, not only have I made Iraq a safer place to live, but I've just tidied the kitchen too!

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"What's all this?"

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Just out of the oven, Jacque's head is filled with the irresistible aroma of freshly baked brioche.

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"I hope you like your curry hot."

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."