Domestic Chaos Aficionado Pillows

"Gone beserk your dinner is on the ceiling"

Well, not only have I made Iraq a safer place to live, but I've just tidied the kitchen too!

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

The Family Joules: Part 16

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"What's all this?"

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

'Found her. Keeping her.'

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

Just out of the oven, Jacque's head is filled with the irresistible aroma of freshly baked brioche.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

"I hope you like your curry hot."