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' It's not new carpeting- the vacuum cleaner bag exploded,,,'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Face painting.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Unsafe Drain Covers!

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

Fetching some bread

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

"The lunch, grab the lunch!"

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

At the McWit Eye Labs are two doors, 'Control Group' and 'Out of Control Group.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Ernest Hemingway: Write drunk, edit drunk.

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

"The Hamptons were nice but it feels good to be back in the city."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."