Domestic Chaos Navigators T-Shirts

'He has weapons of mass destruction.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

Having It All

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Working from home.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

"Nobody said it would be easy!"

All-way stops.

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

"Sometimes it feels like the whole world's been turned upside down."

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

Tired parents

Travelling with child Sketchbook - day 1

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

"Has anyone seen my half-chewed-up piece of dehydrated squirrel carcass?"