Doggie Defender Gifts

'Shut-up, stupid dog!'

'Baxter wouldn't hurt a fly. Unfortunately fleas are another matter.'

City Pound Manager

''Man's best friend'? Yeah right! Is that a way to treat a friend?!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

No Soliciting

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

A dog reads a newspaper

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

An angry group of Rhinoceros have finally found the Poachers responsible for cutting off their horns.

Uh-oh, They're evolving!

Bug: A Fingerplay to Promote Empathy with the Differently Evolved

'What are your feelings on the use of dolphins in warzones?'...

Droplet with a pencil.

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

"Save ALL animals, you bastard!"

Revenge of the Mallards.

"Sorry Matilda, but we're going to have to let you go...on the bright side, I hear they're hiring over at Chik-Fi

My first pro bono case.

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

"Boy o boy, that's not good: The hunters don't even want to negotiate..."

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'