"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?
Dog Duty Defender Gifts
Searching for a gift that honors the unwavering protectors of the household? Our collection for dog duty defenders features witty, heartfelt items that showcase your appreciation for your canine guardian. Whether it's for a proud owner or a brave pup, find perfect gifts that highlight their loyal and brave nature, full of humor and love.
"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."
I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.
"Yeah, I don't like this part either."
No Soliciting
'I said: Leave my son alone!'
A Change of Scene.
'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'
'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'
"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"
'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...
'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'
Dog being carried off by ducks.
"I'll walk, you shovel."
Outbox.
"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."
'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'
"Does it come with instructions?"
"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"
Uh-oh, They're evolving!
An angry group of Rhinoceros have finally found the Poachers responsible for cutting off their horns.
Bug: A Fingerplay to Promote Empathy with the Differently Evolved
'What are your feelings on the use of dolphins in warzones?'...
"Boy o boy, that's not good: The hunters don't even want to negotiate..."
Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...
My first pro bono case.
"Save ALL animals, you bastard!"
"Well he smells like his father."
Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.
"They don't make superheroes like they used to!"
Birds throw egg at man roasting a bird.
It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.
'Shut-up, stupid dog!'
'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'
A group of angry fur-less Minks have finally found the person who has their former furs being used for a coat.
Dog Duty Defender Gifts Collection
Dog Duty Defender Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs that honor your dog duty defender—perfect for starting every day with a smile.
Dog Duty Defender Pillows
Add a cozy touch with pillows celebrating your brave pup—fun, heartfelt, and perfect for any dog lover’s home.
Dog Duty Defender Prints
Decorate with prints that portray your dog’s protective spirit—artful, humorous, and a great way to honor your furry hero.
Dog Duty Defender T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts that showcase your hero dog—wear your pride and humor proudly with our witty designs.