Doctorate Joker Gifts

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Tell Figgis I'm busy.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.