Doctorate Gifts

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Scientists are sexy

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

math faculty

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

Math Dept. Professor, I'd like to write my thesis on infinite sets. Don't start something you can't finish.

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Macroscope

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

'The next patient is allergic to cotton, silk, wool and synthetics.'

'Whoa! I can see a problem already. A misspelling on my diploma! Ha, ha . . . a little humor there.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

PhD

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"Wanna play doctor?"

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing