Doctorate Gifts

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Scientists are sexy

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

math faculty

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'

Macroscope

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

'The next patient is allergic to cotton, silk, wool and synthetics.'

PhD

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"Wanna play doctor?"

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."