Doctoral Candidates Gifts

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

The Bookworm

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'Now let me explain our retirement plan.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'