Phd Candidate Gifts

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'It's kind of depressing: We've spent three years on this research paper, and probably only ten people in the World will ever read it...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Eternal Student.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Scientists are sexy

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

math faculty

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"I totally meant to do that."

Macroscope

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

PhD

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"A Ph.D. in physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'