Post-doctoral Researcher Gifts

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Good boy."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Fear/Knowledge

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Eternal Student.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Meet the scribe"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Burning the midnight oil.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'