Divorce Dramatist Gifts

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

Roach Motel

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

'We've agreed to divide your community property 50-50...50% for your wife and 50% for her attorney.'

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

"Where's the fire, pal?"

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

"Dinner's ready, if you want to take a break from your personal space."

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

THE EX-FILES, 'It's about people who have trouble with their former spouses.'

"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."

'I smell romance! This is his seventh blanket-bath. He only came in for an 'in-growing toe-nail' removal operation, yesterday!'

'You get all the money and both cars? How is THAT fair?'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"