Divorce Drama Observer Gifts

'oooo. . . I love it when you role play the ex-wife. . . Mmm. . . kinky. Will it be long, drawn-out and expensive.'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

Generation Ex.

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

'Good news, Mr. Wilson - the DNA-test just proved your innocence!'

THE EX-FILES, 'It's about people who have trouble with their former spouses.'

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

"It's outside, waiting for her inside of his convertible."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

Supermarket store detectives.

"Letting someone go is never easy, Peters."

"This is my new divorce lawyer."

'Come, cautiously, through to the sitting room - it's one of the world's major flash points...'

"...and to my ex-wife, who hates my guts, I leave the contents of my colon..."

"My lousy ex is in hospital with concussion again..."

'Next item: who gets custody of the dog?'

A 'Scene' In the Highlands.

"You're now WELCOME to half my portfolio, Bill."

"I wish you would clear the hair out of the plughole..."

"Here comes my next door neighbor, Frank. I bet he's gonna complain about how his wife shrinks everything."

DIVORCE COURT, 'Not only did she get the house and the car, I also have to train my replacement.'

'Show me the money!'

'Your alimony claim appears to be dead in the water. Your ex-husband has filed a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights.'

Party of the 3rd Part

"It equals out. I pay alimony to Laurie and Denise, and I get alimony from Brenda and Suzanne."