Dating Drama Observer Gifts

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'This isn't the kind of animal magnetism I like in a man, Frank.'

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"He's a terrible drunk."

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

Nerd night out.

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

No pressure

'You need to do more than rustle your plumage, sir, to woo me.'

'Where do I go to forget about men?'

I like the cut of your jib. Okay, full disclosure time: I have a pretty sick jib fetish. ? ?

"We can't go back to my place the cops are digging up the basement."

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

'But enough about me, now let's talk about your money.'

It's not you, Tom. It's your, ah, um...'

'Don't take it personally Dave, I'm just not into guys with ponytails.'

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

'The name's Bond . . .Vagabond . . . '

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

Speed Dating/Speed Dumping

Drawing the Short Straw.

'The Body Shop'

Don couldn't figure it. His aftershave had worked great for that guy on tv