Trial Dramatist Gifts

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Your honor, after hearing all the evidence my client is pretty sure he did'nt do it.'

'Those with center seats in the jury box are always the last to arrive.'

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

A man taking a bow

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

Comedy and tragedy masks

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

James Barrie.

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

Eugene Ionesco

The Modern Godot

John Masefield.

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Henrik Ibsen

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Oscar Wilde

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'