Courtroom Dramatiste Gifts

It was a bad move. Putting the defendant on the stand always poses a risk.

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

"Now that's a win."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"#notguilty."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'