Courtroom Dramaphile Gifts

That's the worst part of divorce, splitting up the property.

Michael Jackson Trial Witnesses.

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"We won!"

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Sue the Author 3PM

Barristers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Now that's a win."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."