Divorce Dramatist Pillows

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'

"I liked you better as my first husband."

Roach Motel

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

'We've agreed to divide your community property 50-50...50% for your wife and 50% for her attorney.'

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

THE EX-FILES, 'It's about people who have trouble with their former spouses.'

'I smell romance! This is his seventh blanket-bath. He only came in for an 'in-growing toe-nail' removal operation, yesterday!'

"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."

"Dinner's ready, if you want to take a break from your personal space."

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

'You get all the money and both cars? How is THAT fair?'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

"I've got to be honest with you. I've been married three times and each of them flew the coop."

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

'Heath. . . Cliff!!!'

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"

Joe bids dolly good-bye