Divine Grooming Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Absolutely not!"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

"Not too much off my back."

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

The wool club for mammoths.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

Safari man shearing lions mane.

World of Cow: Horn Gel

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

Man heading towards the House of Mirrors with a shaving kit.

Beauty regime

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

Hipsters knit their beards.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'