Grooming Aficionado T-Shirts

"You've caught me at a bad time. I was just shaving my legs."

Easy shaving

"Normally, I encourage beards, but only Millennials."

'Oh, jeez! Look at that poor bastard! Ha, ha! Oh, man! Hee, hee, hee...'

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"Well. . . . we're still a few years away from self-driving razors."

Old Mice Aftershave

"I always sign my work, sir."

Yeti hunters drag it to a barbershop.

'D'you moisturise?'

Walrus Grooming.

"It's me, honest Ralph! My owner changed shampoo when she bathed me!"

'You're right, it probably gives too close a slave.'

It's not easy being a newly made vampire...

Authoritarian Razor.

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"Absolutely not!"

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Be creative...!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

How to Pick up a Safety Razor Blade

Georgian head-dress

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"