Comedic Grooming Enthusiast T-Shirts

Man makes a foam beard when shaving.

"Absolutely not!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Missing my hair.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

The wool club for mammoths.

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

Time to trim the eyebrows!

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

"Can you just give me a quick trim?"

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

Man heading towards the House of Mirrors with a shaving kit.

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Lion with hair straighteners.

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

Boy to Dad about broken razor: 'That's funny. It was working just fine when I groomed the dog this morning.'

"Jenkins is leaving next week. Perhaps we should buy him a parting gift..."

"It'll settle down after a couple of washes..."

"Ed was at that awkward in between stage of letting his hair grow out." "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon..."

Vain dog

Walrus Grooming.