Divine Document Reviewer Gifts

God's Proofreader

'We've re-branded.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'Okay - who leaked?'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

The Ordered List

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Records?

"We need a better piling system."

In and Out Trays

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

Proceedings of the club

'Does it come on Disc?'

Jesus wept

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

How's my Sermon . . .

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Files of Doom

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

Put it in writing!

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

'Does it come with any Apps'

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."