Divine Reviewer Gifts

How's my Sermon . . .

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Okay - who leaked?'

The Ordered List

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'We are gathered here...'

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

Jesus wept

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

You are everywhere.

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

Put it in writing!

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

Angel book with feather falling out of it

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

'Does it come with any Apps'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

'And God created man in his own image.'

"Limbo as such has been phased out, but we'll be keeping you on hold for an unspecified amount of time."

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

"That's just so God."

Monk

'You are here.'

"Hang on Gary, I think our Tracy's having an Epiphany!"

'You realize of course everything here is G-rated.'

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.