Divine Blogger Gifts

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Press Freedom

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Ruddy bloggers!

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'She posted her first blog today.'

Multi-Tasking

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

Local News in Heaven

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."