Divine Documentarian Gifts

'God's home videos.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

Local News in Heaven

Kirsten Johnson

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

'Okay - who leaked?'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

A fly on the wall documentary.

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

How's my Sermon . . .

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

The Young Jacques Cousteau at the Beach with his Mother.

Social lens of the photojournalist

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

Put it in writing!

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

Moog invented the blog.

'Unusual weather for June'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

'Wanted for Arson: El ni?o'

"You're being sued for cause."

'Typical. Now we're flooded with bloody politicians...'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

F&E Wildlife Documentary Filmmakers. Ernie, you shouldn't have chosen "Bye Bye Birdie" as music for the documentary on avian extinctions. And using Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" in the film about disappearing polar bear habitat was also inappropriate! This is serious stuff! Our next project is about dwindling bee populations. Without bees all plant life is threatened, endangering humanity itself! You're right, Frenak, for the bee film we should use the song "Where have all the flowers gone?"

"Could you ask the driver to slow down we're trying to film 'Great Railway Journeys' here.

Free Oil.