Disinfecting Gifts

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Keyworker

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

"I'm in disguise."

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

'Hold it RIGHT there, buster! Nobody leaves the floor before signing out first!'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'How about this for the masked ball?'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Frivolity -- What art thou in for?'

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Medusa enjoys a rare night out, incognito.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

US Camouflage School

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'M.R.S.A'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"Oh, stop horsing around, Morty."